Phobias

I have a phobia.  Drowning, apparently.  More to the point: drinking.  Here is what I know.  Thinking about having surgery and being forced to drink liquids until the output pleases the nursing staff is enough to make me lose sleep.  Luckily, that did not happen with my thyroid surgery.  They did not force liquids in recovery.  If a glass of water is set in front of me and I'm told that I have to drink it, I will begin to feel what I guess would be an anxiety attack setting in.  For example, I was having some health problems years ago and the doctor wanted to do a kidney scan.  The preparation for this was to drink about a gallon of water (I forget the exact amount) prior to the procedure so my kidneys would be full.  I took my water to work and began drinking.  Not too long into the process I had to leave the office and walk up and down the hall to work off the antsy feelings.

Now I'm over 50 and guess what procedure the doctor wants me to have?  A colonoscopy.  I am OK with the procedure.  I understand colon cancer can sneak up on you from behind.  I realize you are anesthetized for the invasion.  I am not OK with the preparation for the colonoscopy.  The day before you are on a liquid diet.  That evening you are to drink a 10 oz. bottle of some tasty laxative.  The next morning you are to drink another 10 oz. bottle of laxative.  That is to be followed by 24 oz. of water. 

The staff member I visited with said yes, there is an alternative method to get you ready for the colonoscopy.  It involved drinking some other liquid followed by a 64 oz. bottle of Gatorade.  Sixty-four ounces.  Put me in the tub and drown me!  Yes, she also wishes they'd come up with a pill.  I half-heartedly decided to go with the original method and went ahead and scheduled an appointment for two weeks down the road. By the time I got off the phone, I could feel my shoulders trying to wrap themselves around my spine and my skin was crawling. A few days later the instruction letter came.  I began reading with a can-do attitude, but had to put it down and get out of my chair when I got to the paragraph about the second day of liquid intake.  And I've been a bundle of nerves since; the liquids never far from my mind.  No manner of self-pep talks helped. Yesterday I cancelled the colonoscopy.

The anxiety attacks are over.  Now it's just plain ol' worrying.  What's that old saying?  Danged if you do and danged if you don't.  Yep, that's it.